Crone

Daily Prompt: The Interview
Interview your favorite fictional character.

We’re here today with a very special guest, Dame Crone. Dame Crone has appeared in many folk and fairytales. She is a wise and extraordinary woman who has helped many heroes and heroines triumph.

Interviewer: Dame Crone, I like to get right into the heart of the matter. You are a controversial figure. Some see you as helpful, while others feel you bring harm. What is the real Dame Crone like?

Crone: First of all, please call me Claudia, Mz. Claudia. We have names. How would you like if I called you by the generic moniker Miss Human?

Miss Human: Uh um. Sorry. I didn’t mean to offend.

Mz. Claudia: Nevermind. Crone is a catchall term for our people. We are guides who provide protection and advice to our charges. We are catalysts for change. We each have our own preference for how to get this work done. Some connect with their charges through the brain or the heart. Your name for it is inspiration or muse. Those of us who prefer a more concrete approach choose disguise. Appearing as a familiar (which isn’t limited to cats) gives us more leverage, more control. These disguises can be people, animals, and in rare cases objects.

Miss Human: So which do you prefer?

Mz. Claudia: Oh, definitely disguise. I don’t have much patience for inspiration. It takes cultivation, like tending a garden, and belief in your charge.

Miss Human: Um, belief?

Mz. Claudia: Quite right. We have to believe in our charges. That’s what makes us successful or unsuccessful. Surely [laughter] you don’t think that you do it all by yourself?

Miss Human: What are your favorite disguises?

Mz. Claudia: I often appear, as I do now, as an elderly woman. It’s less distracting as you humans place so much emphasis on physical appearance. Also, it helps me maintain distance. Appearing as young as our charges puts us at risk of becoming entangled in their desires. If I appeared as young as you are, you’d want me to be your best friend. I’m not here to be your best friend, I’m here to be your guide.

Miss Human: Do you use any objects?

Mz. Claudia: Whatever amuses me. I sometimes use a pea or fruit like oranges and apples. My favorite object is a mirror, but it requires great skill to use one.

Miss Human: Why?

Mz. Claudia: Why what?

Miss Human: Why does using a mirror take great skill?

Mz. Claudia: Well for one thing your charge has to possess enough character and a pure heart to balance a mirror’s powerful properties.  You’ve heard of Grimhilde? What a disaster she was.

Miss Human: I’m sorry, but I’m not familiar with Grimhil. Who’s that?

Mz. Claudia: Grimhilde was Snow White’s stepmother. A vain and stupid woman. Too bad, it was a gorgeous mirror. It was supposed to help her with forecasting in her rule of the kingdom, but instead she fixated on her beauty.

Miss Human: Oh, yes, I’ve heard of the evil queen. But tell me, how can a mirror help forecast?

Mz. Claudia: Well, different mirrors are used for different things. It is all in the hands of the craftsman/woman and what he or she wants to solve. Take my latest mirror for example. I find that young women, such as yourself, are very susceptible to choosing men who are bad for you. This mirror, which I call The Detector, can spot a bad guy.

Miss Human: It’s very beautiful, very fine ivory. The silver inlay is stunning.

Mz. Claudia: Why thank you. Would you like to try it?

Miss Human: Really! How-how would I use it?

Mz. Claudia: Well the trick of the mirror is to ask a very simple question directed at its purpose. The Detector’s purpose is to keep you away from men who will eventually break your heart.

Miss Human: That sounds wonderful. I just got over a really bad break-up.

Mz. Claudia: This mirror will help you avoid the scoundrels so that you can find your true love. Ask it a question.

Miss Human: Uhm, mirror, I’m interested in this really cute guy in my yoga class. Actually he’s the instructor. I always sign up for his class. We’ve had a few dates and he seems like a good guy, but I’m not sure. He says some of the strangest things. Can you tell me if he is?

Mz. Claudia: No-no. Keep it short, direct. The mirror doesn’t have time to sort through your rambling. Hold it firmly in your dominant hand. Clear your thoughts. Look deeply into it. Ask the following question–“Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the baddest of them all?”

Miss Human: Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the baddest of them all?

Mirror:

The Big. Bad. Black. Wolf.
In your pea. princess bed.

If you mess with him,
Snow White,
he’ll ride and make you ride
and ride and ride until…
you’re red.
and cindered.
and strawed.
as if
you’ve spun gold.

(all night long,
All night...
all night long,
All night…
all night long,
All night…
all night long,
All night…)

So keep. to your tower.
Don’t letdown. your. hair.

Don’t sleep, my Beauty,
apple of my eye,
with…
that Beast.

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